


Real Vampiric Gamer Hours

by HowAreYouGoodPerson



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: One-Shot Collection, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29949534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowAreYouGoodPerson/pseuds/HowAreYouGoodPerson
Summary: I haven't written Lilia stuff in 5000 years :' )(Rating will raise with future chapters.)
Relationships: Lilia Vanrouge/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Serenade

**Author's Note:**

> Yes he's a grandpa, yes he plays video games. They exist. And I can't wait to write a chapter where he's purposefully cringe to torment the youth.
> 
> Anyway I read through his SR card stories and stuff to get a refresher on his personality and god I love Lilia he's so funny. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading, and that you have a nice day/night!

It was late, very late… At hours like these, one would doubt even the biggest of night owls would dare to be awake, preferring to finally rest in peace upon their beds… Ah yes, warm, comfy beds, one of which I rested upon so dreamily…

… That very same bed that I was being forced to leave, due to the violent guitar-shredding right outside the dorm. I didn’t even need to look outside to know who would do such a thing at this ungodly hour. 

I carefully scooted around an unconscious Grim, (almost falling out of bed in my attempt to do so,) and grabbed the closest robe, fumbling with it’s cord, soon exiting out into the hallway. The moment I peered out the window, I saw none other than Vanrouge himself, jamming away with nothing more than an amp and fancy suit for his company… Though, the moment he saw me watching, he gave a sweet smile, as if no crimes were being committed.

“Ugh…” I opened the latch, pushing the large window open. “(LILIA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!)” Another (admittedly) sick rift pierced the air, his fingers moving like lightning against the fretboard, before he finally paused.

“Why, is it not obvious? I’m attempting to serenade you, as one does.” With that, he continued playing. … It sounded even louder now… While I knew the other dorms wouldn’t hear him, surely Sam or the Professors would come to investigate soon enough…

“(PLEASE stop playing Lilia, it’s…)” I quickly checked the clock in the hall. “(... FOUR IN THE MORNING?! WHY AREN’T YOU IN BED?!?!)” This time, he didn’t bother stopping, eyes fluttering closed as he hit a sharp chord.

“Because I missed yoooou~” … Oh god… No…

“(Lilia, don’t you DARE continue this conversation in song!)” He fumed, purposefully hitting a flat note to voice his displeasure. “(PLEASE, I’ll listen to you play all you like tomorrow, just COME INSIDE…)” Finally, he stopped playing again.

“Oh? So you’re inviting me in, yes? Does this mean I’ve properly serenaded you?” Really, it was the opposite, but whatever worked.

“(YES, YES! NOW HURRY UP!)” Even from here, I could see the way his face lit up in delight, ruby-red eyes glimmering in the moonlight.

“Wonderful! (Seems this old man still has some charm, after all~) … Now, I shall join you in just a moment, [Name]! After all, I saved one last song especially for this moment!” 

“(Oh no no NO!!!)” I didn’t even bother to close the window, darting down the stairs. The shrill scream of strings picked up once more, this time, accompanied by a surprisingly hoarse voice that SOMEHOW managed to boom above everything else tonight. The lyrics… They were a strange mix between “somewhat concerning and confusing,” to “overly sickly sweet,” and… Well, it was lowkey a bop, but a bop that would get us both in trouble, damnit!

The moment I burst out the door, he smiled, and had it not been four in the morning, I would’ve felt bad about unplugging the amp and dragging him inside.

“Ah, my song!!! … My, oh my… It seems it was far too effective in gaining your affections! Look at you, manhandling me so roughly! Why, my delicate little bones will break at this rate!” Rolling my eyes, I released his arm, tucking his amp away in the corner of the hall.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you’re a frail little thing, now go home!!! Even if we don’t have classes tomorrow, I’m sure Diasomnia would be worried sick to find you missing in the morning…” Instead, he took a seat on a nearby chair, hands neatly folded in his lap.

“Oh? You’d kick me out? Your precious little bat out? Out in the cold, dark night, where cruel monsters who’ll make me run countless laps lie? Oh, human… I’m hurt, wounded, facing a horrific pain and agony the likes of which you could not conceive!” … He said it with a wide smile…

“... Okay, fine, you can stay, now find some pajamas and go to s-”

“Sleep? Why, it’s so early for such a thing, is it not?” He brushed past, hopping onto the lounge sofa, but not before grabbing a controller from the gaming system I recently acquired. “The night is still young, [Name], and so are we! So, should we not spend the evening as youths do, and play until the sun reaches the sky to greet us? Besides… I've been practicing quite often on DJ Supreme lately… Whether it be tonight, or another night, I WILL claim the title of Ramshackle’s Best Rhythm Master, so why not defend your title? … Unless you’re afraid of losing, that is…”

… I just wanted to sleep… But this man had the AUDACITY to threaten my throne, in MY DORM…

“... I’m gonna fucking demolish you, Lilia.” He smirked, tossing me another controller.

“We shall see about that, human… Oh and silly me, I realized I do not have proper gaming attire of my own! This suit is quite restrictive, you see… You won’t mind if I borrow one of your shirts, yes?”

“... Well, no, I don’t mind… But…” I paused, making sure my controller was properly plugged in. “... Why not just take off your jacket and roll up your shirt sleeves? Isn’t that way less work?”

“Perhaps.” He plugged his own controller in. “But your shirts are quite comfy! I’ve even looked into the same brands myself, yet… Nothing I buy for myself seems to compare!” It was such an innocent statement, and he didn’t even try to make it so. It was clearly the truth, and nothing but it… “Besides… It’ll be amusing, knowing that every time you’ll see that shirt, you’ll be reminded of the cruel defeat you’ve faced at my hands… Huhu~”

“You’re banned from wearing my clothing ever again.”

“Wha-why, you’re no fun at all, [Name]!”

Despite that, we both laughed… Until the game fully loaded up. Then we both just glared at each other as we waited for the game to load.

(For the record, I was still Ramshackle’s Best Rhythm Master, no matter how difficult keeping such a coveted title was getting to be.)


	2. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mealtime is in danger...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm kinda legally obligated to make at least one cooking-related one-shot for him LMAOO.

“Alright… Eggplant… Squash… Now the zucchini…” I felt around the counter, trying to find the bowl I’d set aside. 

“Ah, I believe this shall work as well!” I took the bowl passed over to me.

“Thank you.” I then dumped the entire bowl of oysters into the baking pa-...

“... LILIA?!”

“That is my name, yes!” He wore an apron reading “Cooking Daddy,” accompanied by a chef’s hat as he continued to dice strange mushrooms on the other kitchen counter. “... Ah, do hurry to place that in the oven! If we dilly-dally much longer, we’ll be feasting late tonight!”

“I… When did you get here?! And how long have you been cooking?!?!” The microwave went off at the very moment, the fae not wasting a moment to pull out the now-melted butter.

“Oh, I’ve only been here about an hour or so! While I’d only planned to join for dinner… Ah, I couldn’t help myself! Being in the kitchen’s quite enjoyable, you know! Especially with those you love! … Oh, that steak looks terribly under-seasoned, human! Surely you can add more paprika than that!” The moment he even took a step forward, I jumped before the steak, blocking it from his reach.

“NO! NO! IT’S FINE! … Grim has, uh… Sensitive taste buds! Yeah! Too much seasoning’s bad for him!” I knew that if the cat wasn’t passed out in front of the fireplace, he would’ve hissed, upset at being made into looking “weak…” But he would’ve understood, knowing Lilia was here.

“... Is that so…” Said man sighed. “Well, I suppose there’s no helping it… Then I shall just focus on assisting with your ratatouille!” He reached within a paper bag I’d never even noticed, pulling out a fillet of fish. “I had been watching quite the interesting video the other day, human! They made a dish called ‘Sea Bream Carpaccio!’ Now, I know that’s not what we’re supposed to make, but~... Don’t you think it’d be delicious, combining them both?” 

More and more packets of fish came out, accompanied by bundles of shallots and cilantro, and even kiwis...

“... Oh, but the market had no sea bream at the market, so I bought trout instead. And the recipe felt rather bare for a whole meal, so I also bought some mushrooms, herbs, and kiwis! A splash of color on the dish is sure to make it stand out, yes?” There was a tired meow from the Lounge. Grim glanced over, roused by the smell of fish, but the moment he saw Lilia, he was GONE.

… Even my best friend was going to leave me to suffer alone…

“... Lilia…” His feelings? Or my health? “... You’re a guest here! You shouldn’t be cooking! In fact, how about you cook your ‘Sea Bream Carpaccio’ for the others at Diasomnia? As a surprise of sorts?!” … They were used to his cooking. They could live with this fate.

“I would, but…” He scoffed, angrily chopping the shallots and cilantro. “You wouldn’t BELIEVE what they said to me! ‘Vanrouge, if I have to eat even one more of your creations today, then I’ll transfer to another dorm to continue my duties there!’ ‘Father, please! I feel like I’ll die if I have to eat another bite of your cooking!’ ‘Lilia, I will burn this kitchen to the ground if you do not let us order take-out!!!’ How ungrateful can children be?!” The knife was slammed down, the fae gathering the expertly-diced herbs into his palm to drop in a bowl. “Well, they’ll learn very quickly how lucky they are to have such a caring father cook for them! I told them right to their faces, ‘if my cooking is so unpleasant to you, then YOU THREE can handle dinner for the next week, while I’LL enjoy dinners with someone who appreciates me!’”

… I had a feeling that his words really had the opposite effect he intended for both parties…

“... So that’s why I’m here now! With someone who DOES appreciate my cooking~”

… I couldn’t stop him now… I forced a smile.

“Y-yeah…! After all, you have such… Unique and interesting ideas, and all! It’s… Hard, to not be impressed!” He practically beamed like the sun, placing the trout fillets on a pan to coat them with a layer of butter.

“Such praise, [Name]! It makes me want to start dessert, too! Huhu~”

… Hopefully I wouldn’t end up in the nurse’s office after dinner...


End file.
